Yallah Habibi · The person behind that tiny footer text

My method (chaos & vibes)

No Jira. No sprint meetings. Just raw nocturnal audacity.

2:00 AM: Idea strikes. "This will take 10 minutes."
2:30 AM: Threatening AI prompts + 40 open tabs.
3:15 AM: It compiles. It's on fire. Perfect.
4:00 AM: Console errors renamed to "features".
Sunrise: Shipped to production. Do not touch it.

Startup idea you want me to lie about building:

Pitch me anything. Business models are for cowards.

Why spend 6 months in meetings when you can ship bugs tonight?

Skills (mostly my team)

Skill = 10% what I know + 90% who I ask. Math checks out. Barely.

HTML20%. I know it starts with < and ends with >. The AI handles everything in between

CSS15%. I can say "make it pop" in 40 different ways. That counts

JavaScript10%. I can spot a semicolon at 50 metres. Beyond that, we pray

React8%. I know it's a library, not a lifestyle. Still shipping it

Photoshop69%. Nice. Master of layer masks, accidental 3GB PSD files, and aggressive liquify

Illustrator73%. Finally conquered the pen tool without crying. Vector shapes are now safe

Whatever's trending5%. If it has a logo and a landing page, I've pasted it into something

Knowing who to ask120%. The only skill that matters. Overflows, like my browser tabs

The team (16 agents, 0 salaries, 0 meetings)

Claude

Does the thinking. I take the credit.

Gemini

Second opinion when Claude says "that's a bad idea".

Codex

Writes code at 3 AM. Never complains.

Googling

Oldest colleague. Still undefeated.

Research

Fifteen tabs open. Zero regrets.

ChatGPT

The one my mom has heard of. Solid, chatty, occasionally confidently wrong.

Copilot

Finishes my sentences. And my code. And sometimes my bugs.

Cursor

Edits ten files while I watch like a proud parent.

Perplexity

Googling, but with footnotes. Feels academic.

DeepSeek

Thinks out loud for 4 minutes. Worth it.

Grok

Answers at 3 AM with attitude. Same energy as me.

Replit

Runs my code in a browser so I never install anything.

Midjourney

Makes the pictures. I say 'make it more cinematic'.

Stack Overflow

Closed my question as a duplicate. Still love it.

Muse

Meta's brand-new one. Fresh out of the box, already on my payroll (it's free).

Coffee

The only one on the payroll.

Things developers say (lies told to clients & God)

"It works on my machine." (then ship your machine to the client)
"Quick fix, five minutes." (three days & two breakdowns ago)
"I'll write the documentation later." (the biggest lie in human history)
"Who wrote this garbage code?!" (git blame: you, last night at 3 AM)
"Let's push directly to production." (testing in prod builds character)
"I understand how CSS flexbox works." (randomly changes justify-content until it aligns)

How long will your project take?

Select your project. I will lie confidently.

Waiting for you to pick something...

Numbers (completely fabricated for VC funding)

0lines copy-pasted without reading

0unit tests written (we test in prod)

0cries for help sent to ChatGPT

0clue why lines 40-90 compile

As seen on

My Mom's WhatsApp Statuslocalhost:3000One (1) Browser TabA Friend's Phone, Under PressureThe Footer You Just Clicked

What people say (unpaid, unverified)

"He built my site overnight. I still don't know how, and neither does he." A satisfied client, probably

"Beta tested by his own mother. Rated 5/5 out of pity." Mom

"The bugs are weirdly charming." Someone being very polite

"Wait, you did all this without a degree?" Everyone, then silence

Terms & Conditions (nobody reads these, you will)

1. Deadlines

Deadlines are emotional support for the client. Delivery happens when the vibes align.

2. Bugs

Any bug found is a surprise feature. Any feature that breaks is a bug in your browser.

3. Revisions

Unlimited revisions, limited patience. Each "one small change" costs one coffee.

4. Credit

The AI team gets zero credit and ten thousand thanks. I get the invoice.

5. Refunds

If you don't love it, I will build it again. Louder.

Contact (at your own risk)

Congratulations on surviving this long. Here are two ways to interrupt my 2 AM coding spiral:

SLOW & FORMAL

Send an email like we're in 2004:

hi@yallahhabibi.is-a.dev Directly straight to my "I'll reply tomorrow" folder.

INSTANT CHAOS

Slide into my Telegram:

@YallahHabibi Seen instantly at 3:14 AM. Replied when the alignment of Jupiter feels right.

SLA Guarantee: Replies within 24 hours. Or 24 business weeks. Time is a flat circle and my inbox is an abyss.